Running Up Hill In the Wind

This fall I was ready to quit teaching.  I was unhappy. I was stressed out.  I was tired. I cried.  I drank too much. I yelled.  I cried some more.  I looked for other jobs.  I wrote.  I read.  I cried some more.  I complained.  I worked even harder and into the night.  I had an objective for every second of the school day planned and ready for action. I couldn't rest until everything was in its place. I said each day at least once, "This job is killing me!"  My husband was worried that on any given day I would come home and say that I had quit.  But, I didn't.

I reached out.  I talked about it. I even sought out counseling but the counselor seemed to think I didn't need her.   I thought about other options…. but when it came down to it, I really love the teacher I am… I was.  Gosh, I love the kids.

Then, I realized that teaching is like running up hill into the wind most days.  This is true especially after lunch.  And, a teacher has got to rest before the next workout.  But, I wasn't…resting.  So, I was dying.

Now I come home and I am home.  I don't work into the night.  I don't drink my way though the evening.  I watch TV.  I read my book.  I mess around on the computer with non-school stuff.   No more midnight emails to my colleges.  No more stressing over this lesson or that.  No more.  I am a pro.  Who needs that?

I am a master teacher.  I can juggle with the best of them.  Hey, it makes running marathons look like a cakewalk.  I am not just saying that.  If you can run uphill in the wind for 20 or more miles, you might have what it takes to teach.  But, you gotta rest.  I have made it 25 years with the last 5 being the hardest of my career.  A good teacher needs to know how to rest.  I just had a blip of forgetting that. Now I am back to being me.