Distracted

Front

It is funny how something can sit on ones desk for years and parts of it go completely unnoticed.  Last night close to  9:30PM I realized that I had said I would bring a card for the HRT group to sign and get delivered to one of our fearless leaders who tripped on a speed bump and broke his collarbone this last week.

Mind you, on Thursday HRT mornings the alarm goes off at 4:44 AM.  So, the bedtime on Wednesday nights needs to be closer to the 9:30-10:00 ish time.  I was in a little of a panic.  The clock was ticking and I was fading... fast.   So... to my mom's card collection I went.  I never did find the perfect card for the friend with a broken bone.  But, I did find a distraction.

I have never thought of myself as ADD or easily distracted on the task at hand.  But, as I get older and work has gotten so data driven and time sensitive on an 8 year olds time schedule and the needs that they all have and I want to provide....that I have become the QUEEN of Distraction.  I am in fact distracting myself from writing weekly progress reports for my students as I write this.   They can wait to distract me later when it is really time for sleep.

Inside

Anyway, I was distracted with a few files of cards in the basket on my desk and sidelined myself on FB with that before quickly printing and cutting and pasting a card for half awake runners to sign in the dark of morning. I didn't take the time to LOOK INSIDE the folders.  Thank goodness.  I am going on 6 hours sleep right now from just the darn discovery of the file labeled "Interpersonal Conflict" last night.  I would not have made it to bed until midnight if I had actually looked inside!

When I got home from work this evening I opened up the "Interpersonal Conflict" file. There were /are two cards inside.... but this one takes the cake and is too distracting to not share.

Here is another file I had never noticed.  It too has two cards in it.  This one is classic my mom!  Gosh! I sure do miss her.

Front

Inside

Appreciated

Teacher Appreciation Day was officially yesterday, but....  who needs one day.  

My second hug of the day today was from Yuliana.  As I walked down the hall of school to collect the STAR tests for the last time this morning, she ran to me with a big beautiful smile and embraced me like never before.  Then she said, "Oh, you are warm.  I am home!"  I needed that soooo much today.  

I also got a flower and a box of Sees Chocolates today.   But, the handmade card and the shy little smile on Cara's face that came with the gifts touched me even more.  

I have poured myself into these kids this year and I know they appreciate it even if they don't know they do.

Life is good.  I really do love my role in life.  It brings purpose and direction.   My efforts have not been wasted.

Third Grade Rocks!!!  And, the candy has come in handy tonight.  Jack had to give me a nice long hug and let me tell him I love him before he could eat the 2 pieces he stole.  

Next Tuesday

Next Tuesday I am going back to track.

I miss it.  I fear it.  I need it.  But, most importantly... I miss it.

I miss the challenge.  I miss the rush.  I miss the tired legs.  I miss the people.  I miss the feeling of accomplishment.  I miss it.  But, most of all I miss them.

I miss feeling connected even if it is only on the track and even if they don't feel connected to me.

I miss the teamwork to pull each other around the track to hit that watch at times we wouldn't, couldn't and probably shouldn't hit on our own.

I miss Rusty saying "Good job" to the group I am running with or even me by name.   I take the feeling I get when he does and I take it to room 7 so I am sure to say it constantly.  Such simple words are so powerful!

Since New York fell through and then Santa Barbara was done, I haven't made it to the track once.  I miss it.  I need it.  Without it I feel like I am being eaten by my job.

I want to be more of a runner than a teacher.   I am better at everything when I am.

Yes, Maggie... when you said to me in Costco that one Sunday that you were more a runner than a teacher I had a pang of pain in my soul.  I could've said that last year and the year before, but this year... no.    I was totally a teacher this year.  I wasn't a friend.  I wasn't a very good mother.  I wasn't a very good wife.  I was totally a teacher.

I need to get back to the track.

Too

Too liberal for many conservatives and perceived to be too conservative by the world...

Too passive and yet too opinionated.

Too fast, too far, too often to run with some...

Too slow to run with many.

Work too much to have time for what is important...

Too spun up and too tired to notice.

Too blind to see much...

Too vane.  Too busy... too what ever to do anything about it.

Too obsessive.  Too loud and yet too quiet.  Too annoying and self-centered to be invited...

Too nervous, too scared, too busy to go when I am.

Too competitive and too many excuses.

Too complicated and yet too simple.

Life goes by too fast.