When you sign up for a marathon, life as you know it changes. You are committed. If you don't log the miles and do X number of miles at pace or if you don't stretch and do your PT exercises... you will pay on race day. You might not even make it.
There is a reason for coaches. There is reason for a plan. There is a reason to go out slow and end strong. There is a reason for all the hard work. I crave it and am chomping at the bit to sign up for a marathon. Two more weeks of more or less no pain and I am signing up. I am jumping in. No more sleep for me. Predawn running... here I come!
I wish that some of my students and their parents understood the importance of being literate and functioning at grade level. I wish they got it that you have to put in the time to get what you want... Oh, some of them are so far behind! Why aren't they chomping at the bit to be literate? Why aren't they pushing their kids to strive for the top? When do they plan on catching up? No one ever ran a marathon or learned how to read watching TV or playing computer games. When are they going to stop making all their excuses?
How do I get them to sign up for being proficient so their life changes? What can I do without squishing them? I wish I could learn to read for them, but my coaches don't run for me.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
Winnie
There are many things in life that complete me and make this journey on earth feel whole. Of course, my faith in Christ is paramount. My family is... wow!... so important. My friends who have stuck by me through the years and years of little effort on my part, are a gift. My profession fills my thoughts and challenges me on every level. Kevin is my rock (in human form). My own children help me to understand myself as they mirror me and yet surprise me with their independence. Am I really that independent? Yikes! Running... oh running...is and has been part of my life since I was 11. I don't know sometimes if it simply completes me or just is me. With all that said, this morning I realized that running with Winnie completes me.
Winnie and I have learned to run together well. She knows not to pull mommy down the hills. Her trot is just about perfect on flats as she trots just a little ahead. My favorite part of running with Winnie is on the uphills. On uphills, she trots right next to me. It was on the last hill of the morning as I cooed to her what a good girl she is in my voice I use only for her, that I realized how much I love this dog. She completes me.
Growing up dogs were always important to me. Dutchess, a one year old Boxer, came in to our family just as my parents were splitting up. I still recall when my parents were telling Lori and me that we (my sister, my mom, and I) were moving to Santa Barbara. My dad and Dutchess were staying in Thousand Oaks. You know what I did? I hugged and kissed the dog and recall being so upset to be leaving the dog. I know I really wanted to hug and kiss my dad probably but the dog, well... completed me.
The month before I turned 10, both of my parents remarried (other people) within a week of each other. Soon after, we got a puppy named Luvi. She was a little Terrier-Poodle mix. Gosh the tears I cried into the fur of that little ball of fluff. We also had so much fun running around the East Pedregosa Street mansion together. Oh, and the hours of her being my only friend it felt in the world. She completed me.
When Kevin and I were newly weds, we bought our first home together on Paso Tranquillo. It had a great backyard that was perfect for a dog. As soon as school was out that summer, I dragged Kevin over and we picked out our first pup, Fred. I really wanted a girl pup. But, Fred was an adorable black lab with an awful under bite. He was discounted due to his jaw and available. We just couldn't leave him. I loved Fred. He was a good running buddy and we enjoyed walks and hikes with Kevin along too. I don't know that he completed me as the marriage was so new and then came the babies that turned Fred into a dog and not part of what I needed. I guess Fred was more Kevin's dog.
When Fred died young of cancer, we went a year without a dog before getting Harley, another black lab, from DAWG. He was a total mess when we got him, but he loved us. We loved him. He was a slug that wouldn't really run, walk or hike. He was definitely more Kevin's dog. I don't know that Harley completed me any more then Fred did, but gosh I know there was such an emptiness in our home after he died of bladder cancer.
The summer after my mom died I knew we had to get a dog. I needed to feel close to my mom and getting a dog...well... I knew would give me that. There was no way in heck Kevin would've let me bring home my mom's Cairn Terrier, Lil Bit. This time I wanted a girl dog. I wanted her to be a smaller sized lab that would run like the wind. I also wanted her to be any color but black. In late July we went up to Bradley and picked Miss Winnie from the litter. Funny that we picked her because she seemed to be more mellow than her sister. I recall her going off and digging a little hole in the dirt and plopping herself in it. This was the pup for us!
It has been a long, funny, and often expensive journey with Wild Winnie. She still is very independent. Her naughtiness is less and less. She is not at all a needy dog, but she loves us. She lets me gush over her and use the voice that special voice that I recall my mom using with Lil Bit,Luvi, and Dutchess. It is funny. I feel so close to my mom when I kiss my Winnie and talk to her. So, when I ran up the that last little hill this morning with my Winnie trotting alongside me I realized how complete I feel. I am running again with my dog. I feel complete.
Winnie and I have learned to run together well. She knows not to pull mommy down the hills. Her trot is just about perfect on flats as she trots just a little ahead. My favorite part of running with Winnie is on the uphills. On uphills, she trots right next to me. It was on the last hill of the morning as I cooed to her what a good girl she is in my voice I use only for her, that I realized how much I love this dog. She completes me.
Growing up dogs were always important to me. Dutchess, a one year old Boxer, came in to our family just as my parents were splitting up. I still recall when my parents were telling Lori and me that we (my sister, my mom, and I) were moving to Santa Barbara. My dad and Dutchess were staying in Thousand Oaks. You know what I did? I hugged and kissed the dog and recall being so upset to be leaving the dog. I know I really wanted to hug and kiss my dad probably but the dog, well... completed me.
The month before I turned 10, both of my parents remarried (other people) within a week of each other. Soon after, we got a puppy named Luvi. She was a little Terrier-Poodle mix. Gosh the tears I cried into the fur of that little ball of fluff. We also had so much fun running around the East Pedregosa Street mansion together. Oh, and the hours of her being my only friend it felt in the world. She completed me.
When Kevin and I were newly weds, we bought our first home together on Paso Tranquillo. It had a great backyard that was perfect for a dog. As soon as school was out that summer, I dragged Kevin over and we picked out our first pup, Fred. I really wanted a girl pup. But, Fred was an adorable black lab with an awful under bite. He was discounted due to his jaw and available. We just couldn't leave him. I loved Fred. He was a good running buddy and we enjoyed walks and hikes with Kevin along too. I don't know that he completed me as the marriage was so new and then came the babies that turned Fred into a dog and not part of what I needed. I guess Fred was more Kevin's dog.
When Fred died young of cancer, we went a year without a dog before getting Harley, another black lab, from DAWG. He was a total mess when we got him, but he loved us. We loved him. He was a slug that wouldn't really run, walk or hike. He was definitely more Kevin's dog. I don't know that Harley completed me any more then Fred did, but gosh I know there was such an emptiness in our home after he died of bladder cancer.
The summer after my mom died I knew we had to get a dog. I needed to feel close to my mom and getting a dog...well... I knew would give me that. There was no way in heck Kevin would've let me bring home my mom's Cairn Terrier, Lil Bit. This time I wanted a girl dog. I wanted her to be a smaller sized lab that would run like the wind. I also wanted her to be any color but black. In late July we went up to Bradley and picked Miss Winnie from the litter. Funny that we picked her because she seemed to be more mellow than her sister. I recall her going off and digging a little hole in the dirt and plopping herself in it. This was the pup for us!
It has been a long, funny, and often expensive journey with Wild Winnie. She still is very independent. Her naughtiness is less and less. She is not at all a needy dog, but she loves us. She lets me gush over her and use the voice that special voice that I recall my mom using with Lil Bit,Luvi, and Dutchess. It is funny. I feel so close to my mom when I kiss my Winnie and talk to her. So, when I ran up the that last little hill this morning with my Winnie trotting alongside me I realized how complete I feel. I am running again with my dog. I feel complete.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Beat The Clock
Life for me is a game of beat the clock. I don’t mean to be negative. It is just reality. I feel this the most in my career choice, teaching.
I love teaching. I have taught every grade K-6 in some form during my 23 tenure. Most of those years were in Kindergarten. How I love those little guys. I loved to creatively weave objectives into play and exploration. I loved to watch them play and talk to them. The only reason I left was TIME. There just wasn’t enough time in the day to really do all I wanted to do and do it well. And, the expectations were going higher and higher with no hope of more time in sight.
So, here I am now in 4th grade where, once again, I am completely and totally frustrated with the lack of time to teach what and how I want to teach. The day feels so chopped up with ….Spanish/ELD, ART, PE ,violins, computer lab and library at awkward times. All of these are important. I just wish all the extras could be at the end of the day… or even after 3PM so that I have time to teach and teach well.
Time is my biggest frustration. There simply isn’t enough. I want time to rest, time to run, time to pray, time to love, time to hang out, and time to teach.
What can I say….. I am not good at “Beat the Clock”. I almost always feel like I am losing. I guess the only time I am not is when I am winning. Maybe when my worth as a teacher isn't graded by one test in early May, then I will feel the value of time for all of the important things.
I love teaching. I have taught every grade K-6 in some form during my 23 tenure. Most of those years were in Kindergarten. How I love those little guys. I loved to creatively weave objectives into play and exploration. I loved to watch them play and talk to them. The only reason I left was TIME. There just wasn’t enough time in the day to really do all I wanted to do and do it well. And, the expectations were going higher and higher with no hope of more time in sight.
So, here I am now in 4th grade where, once again, I am completely and totally frustrated with the lack of time to teach what and how I want to teach. The day feels so chopped up with ….Spanish/ELD, ART, PE ,violins, computer lab and library at awkward times. All of these are important. I just wish all the extras could be at the end of the day… or even after 3PM so that I have time to teach and teach well.
Time is my biggest frustration. There simply isn’t enough. I want time to rest, time to run, time to pray, time to love, time to hang out, and time to teach.
What can I say….. I am not good at “Beat the Clock”. I almost always feel like I am losing. I guess the only time I am not is when I am winning. Maybe when my worth as a teacher isn't graded by one test in early May, then I will feel the value of time for all of the important things.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Black Cloud
My mom called it my black cloud. It comes over me and eats me alive and anyone in its path every now and then. I have always wished I could just crawl in a hole for a bit until it passes, but no game in my life... Therefore, I run. I run and run and run.
Monday I went to the orthopedic specialist for my ankle/foot. But due to the fact that he "didn't do feet", the ankle was the focus. The Xray showed some roughness on the heel and maybe a bit of arthritis in the ankle joint. Nothing broken, this I knew when I walked in. When I gave the doctor my long history I had typed up of when the trouble all started in February 2011 with an ankle twist, he glanced at it... but not long enough to realize that maybe just maybe something is torn that would only show up on an MRI. This he wouldn't order and gave me PT.(Thanks very much, but I will pay top dollar to go to Mike Swan instead.) He also mentioned swimming. UGH! Swimming is what the podiatrist down the hall had said a few years back about my plantar fasciitus (or however you spell it)... well...at least the ortho doc didn't tell me my running was "excessive" like it was a bad thing. This doctor actually said to run if it doesn't hurt. OK then! You don't have to tell me twice.
Monday we had an in-service in the afternoon that (no offense to the powers that be) stressed me out. See wasting time always stresses me out. And, well.... it was a total waste of time. Like I said, sorry for being honest. My black cloud was blowing in with gale force winds. I tried to hide it from the folks visiting, but it was hovering... waiting to eat me up.
SOOOOOOOO....Tuesday morning I went for a run.... not a very good run as my calves were mad at me for over spinning lately. Biffing it and getting some painful road rash on my arm and hip after not seeing the last speed bump on Harold Street due to weak headlamp batteries and a really really dark morning, didn't make my first morning run all that great. The foot was a bit sore, but not too bad. The ankle was a little cranky but loosened up. 5 miles done but not enough or fast enough to get rid of the black cloud. Well, and the achy hip wasn't helping either. Also going to a meeting after a full day of "teaching"29 sugar saturated 9 year olds for more of the same lady from Monday, only thickened my black cloud. Boo hiss.
Again I tried to get rid of it (the black cloud) on Wednesday with a spin class in the AM, but the teacher was lame (sorry YMCA) and her music was slow and not loud enough. My heart rate hovered at 144 for almost the enter 55 minute spin class. This was not satisfying, so Winnie and I went for a run after school. It was a nice paced run with the pooch and no dark streets with speed bumps. It was a beautiful SB evening. No work and out to dinner with the family started to turn the mood around a bit.
This morning I got up and ran in the dark (with new batteries in my headlamp) solo. I almost stopped at 2 miles with a crampy calf. Damn that spinning! The foot wasn't feeling all that great either.But, the darn thing(s) decided to make my day and let me go 6 with little or no pain...magic! Then POOF! Black cloud was gone! I said a little happy prayer of thankfulness to the One who knows my deepest needs. Seriously... I did and I do say those kinds of prayers. I knew it was going to be a good day.
Talking to my class today about their sparks and what gets them going, I told them how running is one of my igniters for all the sparks in my life. So funny... I asked them if they thought I had run that morning and they all said "YES!" I said another little silent thank you prayer in my heart.
I am sorry Dr. Ortho (He will remain nameless) but swimming doesn't do it for me.... spinning does kinda if the teacher, music, and calves all line up and harmonize to a sweaty heart rate romping beat. I guess I will just say many more prayers that as I increase my mileage the foot/ankle will like the pounding so much that they keep me more running then spinning. Please please please. God knows I need to RUN. Run far and often.... and sometimes FAST!
Monday I went to the orthopedic specialist for my ankle/foot. But due to the fact that he "didn't do feet", the ankle was the focus. The Xray showed some roughness on the heel and maybe a bit of arthritis in the ankle joint. Nothing broken, this I knew when I walked in. When I gave the doctor my long history I had typed up of when the trouble all started in February 2011 with an ankle twist, he glanced at it... but not long enough to realize that maybe just maybe something is torn that would only show up on an MRI. This he wouldn't order and gave me PT.(Thanks very much, but I will pay top dollar to go to Mike Swan instead.) He also mentioned swimming. UGH! Swimming is what the podiatrist down the hall had said a few years back about my plantar fasciitus (or however you spell it)... well...at least the ortho doc didn't tell me my running was "excessive" like it was a bad thing. This doctor actually said to run if it doesn't hurt. OK then! You don't have to tell me twice.
Monday we had an in-service in the afternoon that (no offense to the powers that be) stressed me out. See wasting time always stresses me out. And, well.... it was a total waste of time. Like I said, sorry for being honest. My black cloud was blowing in with gale force winds. I tried to hide it from the folks visiting, but it was hovering... waiting to eat me up.
SOOOOOOOO....Tuesday morning I went for a run.... not a very good run as my calves were mad at me for over spinning lately. Biffing it and getting some painful road rash on my arm and hip after not seeing the last speed bump on Harold Street due to weak headlamp batteries and a really really dark morning, didn't make my first morning run all that great. The foot was a bit sore, but not too bad. The ankle was a little cranky but loosened up. 5 miles done but not enough or fast enough to get rid of the black cloud. Well, and the achy hip wasn't helping either. Also going to a meeting after a full day of "teaching"29 sugar saturated 9 year olds for more of the same lady from Monday, only thickened my black cloud. Boo hiss.
Again I tried to get rid of it (the black cloud) on Wednesday with a spin class in the AM, but the teacher was lame (sorry YMCA) and her music was slow and not loud enough. My heart rate hovered at 144 for almost the enter 55 minute spin class. This was not satisfying, so Winnie and I went for a run after school. It was a nice paced run with the pooch and no dark streets with speed bumps. It was a beautiful SB evening. No work and out to dinner with the family started to turn the mood around a bit.
This morning I got up and ran in the dark (with new batteries in my headlamp) solo. I almost stopped at 2 miles with a crampy calf. Damn that spinning! The foot wasn't feeling all that great either.But, the darn thing(s) decided to make my day and let me go 6 with little or no pain...magic! Then POOF! Black cloud was gone! I said a little happy prayer of thankfulness to the One who knows my deepest needs. Seriously... I did and I do say those kinds of prayers. I knew it was going to be a good day.
Talking to my class today about their sparks and what gets them going, I told them how running is one of my igniters for all the sparks in my life. So funny... I asked them if they thought I had run that morning and they all said "YES!" I said another little silent thank you prayer in my heart.
I am sorry Dr. Ortho (He will remain nameless) but swimming doesn't do it for me.... spinning does kinda if the teacher, music, and calves all line up and harmonize to a sweaty heart rate romping beat. I guess I will just say many more prayers that as I increase my mileage the foot/ankle will like the pounding so much that they keep me more running then spinning. Please please please. God knows I need to RUN. Run far and often.... and sometimes FAST!
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