Today I walked and talked and was Dottie Hedgepeth, my mother... Well, ok, she would not have gotten up at 4:50 AM to meet a huge group of people to run up and down the hills of Hope Ranch for 8.5 miles.... but in every other way I was acutely aware of my wording and reactions to things all day long.
We are coming up on the 2nd anniversary for the ending of her beginning. Two years ago this spring vacation was really the last time I had with my mom as my mom. She was dealing with her ovarian cancer but was in a good time with all the chemo treatments when we went out for Easter in 2010. I just have a so many snap shots and mini movies in my head of that visit. One that I think of often is sitting in church with her on Easter Sunday 2010 thinking that the next time I would be in that church it would probably be without her.
So, I am sad. I am preoccupied. I want to crawl in a hole and cry and just not deal. But, life is good. I am ok with being a lot like her. She was a very unique and complicated woman in a very simple way. I really miss her.
No comments:
Post a Comment