Next Tuesday

Next Tuesday I am going back to track.

I miss it.  I fear it.  I need it.  But, most importantly... I miss it.

I miss the challenge.  I miss the rush.  I miss the tired legs.  I miss the people.  I miss the feeling of accomplishment.  I miss it.  But, most of all I miss them.

I miss feeling connected even if it is only on the track and even if they don't feel connected to me.

I miss the teamwork to pull each other around the track to hit that watch at times we wouldn't, couldn't and probably shouldn't hit on our own.

I miss Rusty saying "Good job" to the group I am running with or even me by name.   I take the feeling I get when he does and I take it to room 7 so I am sure to say it constantly.  Such simple words are so powerful!

Since New York fell through and then Santa Barbara was done, I haven't made it to the track once.  I miss it.  I need it.  Without it I feel like I am being eaten by my job.

I want to be more of a runner than a teacher.   I am better at everything when I am.

Yes, Maggie... when you said to me in Costco that one Sunday that you were more a runner than a teacher I had a pang of pain in my soul.  I could've said that last year and the year before, but this year... no.    I was totally a teacher this year.  I wasn't a friend.  I wasn't a very good mother.  I wasn't a very good wife.  I was totally a teacher.

I need to get back to the track.